forwardandnotlookbackanymore.canyouunderstandthat?"
heshookhisheadandtriedtokeephisvoicesteady."notreally.notifitmeanslosingyou.ican'tdothatagain."
shedidn'tsayanythingbutloweredherhead.noahwenton:"couldyoureallyleavemewithoutlookingback?"
shebitherlipassheanswered.hervoicewasbeginningtocrack."idon'tknow.probablynot."
"wouldthatbefairtolon?"
shedidn'tanswer.insteadshestoodup,wipedherfaceandwalkedtotheedgeoftheporchwheresheleanedagainstthepostandwatchedthewaterbeforeansweringquietly:"no."
"itdoesn'thavetobelikethis,allie,"hesaid."we'readultsnow,wehavethechoicewedidn'thavebefore.we'remeanttobetogether.wealwayshavebeen."hewalkedtohersideandputhishandonhershoulder."idon'twanttolivetherestofmylifethinkingaboutyouanddreamingofwhatmighthavebeen.staywithme,allie."
tearsfilledhereyes."idon'tknowifican,"shewhispered.
"youcan.allie...ican'tlivemylifehappilyknowingyou'rewithsomeoneelse.thatwouldkillapartofme.whatwehaveisrare.it'stoobeautifultojustthrowitaway."
afteramomenthegentlyturnedhertowardshim,tookherhandsandstaredather,willinghertolookathim.alliefinallyfacedhimwithmoisteyes.afteralongsilence,noahbrushedthetearsfromhercheekswithhisfingers.hisvoicecaughtashesawwhathereyesweretellinghim."you'renotgoingtostay,areyou?"hesmiledweakly."youwantto,butyoucan't."
"oh,noah,"shesaidasthetearsbeganagain,"trytounderstand—"
heshookhisheadtostopher."iknowwhatyou'retryingtosay—icanseeitinyoureyes.butidon'twanttounderstandit,allie.idon'twantittoendthisway.idon'twantittoendatall.butifyouleave,webothknowwe'llneverseeeachotheragain."
sheleanedintohimandbegantocryharderasnoahfoughtbackhisowntears.hewrappedhisarmsaroundher.
"allie,ican'tforceyoutostaywithme.butnomatterwhathappensinmylife,i'llneverforgettheselastcoupleofdayswithyou.i'vebeendreamingaboutthisforyears."
hekissedhergently,andtheyembracedastheyhadwhenshefirstgotoutofhercartwodaysago.finallyallielethimgoandwipedhertears."ihavetogetmythings,noah."
hedidn'tgoinsidewithher.insteadhesatdownintherocker,spent.hewatchedhergointothehouseandlistenedasthesoundofhermovementsfadedintonothing.sheemergedminuteslaterwitheverythingshe'dbroughtandwalkedtowardshimwithherheaddown.shehandedhimthedrawingshehaddoneyesterdaymorning."here,noah.imadethisforyou."
noahtookthedrawingandunrolleditslowly.
theimageintheforeground,whichoccupiedmostofthepage,wasapictureofhowhelookednow.noahnoticedthatshehadpencilledineverydetailofhisface.itwasalmostasifshe'dcopieditfromarecentphotograph.thesecondimagewasthefrontofthehouse.thedetailtherewasalsoincredible,asifshehadsketcheditwhilesittingbeneaththeoaktree.
"it'sbeautiful,allie.thankyou."heattemptedasmile."itoldyouthatyouwereanartist."shenodded,herfacecastdownwards,herlipspressedtogether.itwastimeforhertogo.
theywalkedtohercarslowly,withoutspeaking.whentheyreachedit,noahembracedheragainuntilhecouldfeelthetearswellingupinhisowneyes.hekissedherlipsandbothcheeks,thenwithhisfingersoftlybrushedtheplaceshe'dkissed.
"iloveyou,allie."
"iloveyou,too."
noahopenedhercardoorandtheykissedonemoretime.thensheslidbehindthewheel,nevertakinghereyesfromhim.sheputthepacketoflettersandherhandbagnexttoherontheseatandfumbledforthekeys,thenturnedtheignition.itstartedeasilyandtheenginebegantoturnoverimpatiently.itwasalmosttime.
noahpushedherdoorclosedwithbothhandsandallierolleddownthewindow.shereachedoutherhandandnoahtookitforjustamoment,movinghisfingerssoftlyagainstherskin.
"staywithme,"noahmouthedwithoutsound,andthisforsomereasonhurtmorethanalliewouldhaveexpected.thetearsbegantofallhardnow,butshecouldn'tspeak.reluctantly,shelookedawayandpulledherhandfromhis.sheputthecaringear.
hefellintoanalmosttrancelikestateashewatcheditrollslowlyforwards,thegravelcrunchingunderthewheels.slowlythecarturnedtowardstheroadthatwouldtakeherbacktotown.noahfeltdizzyatthesight."don'tgo!"hewantedtoshout.buthedidn'tsayanything,andaminutelatertheonlyremainingsignsofherwerethetracksthathercarhadleftbehind.
shewasgone.foreverthistime.forever.heclosedhiseyes.
drivingwithtearsinhereyeswasdifficult,butalliewentonanyway.shekeptthewindowrolleddown,thinkingthefreshairmighthelpclearhermind,butitdidn'tseemto.nothingwouldhelp.shewastired,andshewonderedifshewouldhavetheenergysheneededtotalktolon.andwhatwasshegoingtosay?shehopedthatsomethingwouldcometoherwhenthetimecame.bythetimeshereachedfrontstreet,shehadherselfalittlemoreundercontrol.trafficwaslightandshehadtimetowatchstrangersgoingabouttheirbusinessasshedrovethroughnewbern.ataservicestation,amechanicwaslookingunderthe << 上一页 [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] ... 下一页 >>
|
|