tforasecond.what,then?c’mon,don’tfailnow.think,damnit,think.
newbern.
thethoughtpoppedintohishead.yes.newbern.thatwasit.thelittledetail,orpartofit.whatelse,though?
newbern,hethoughtagain,andknewthename.knewthetownalittle,mainlyfromafewtrialshehadbeenin.stoppedthereafewtimesonthewaytothecoast.nothingspecial.heandalliehadneverbeentheretogether.
butalliehadbeentherebefore.
andtheracktighteneditsgrip,anotherpartcomingtogether.
allie,newbern...and...somethingataparty.acommentinpassing.fromallie’smother.whathadshesaid?
lonpaledthen,remembering.rememberingwhatallie’smotherhadsaidsolongago.itwassomethingaboutalliebeinginloveonetimewithayoungmanfromnewbern.calleditpuppylove.sowhat,hehadthoughtwhenhe’dheardit,andhadturnedtosmileatallie.butshehadn’tsmiled.shewasangry.andthenlonguessedthatshehadlovedthatpersonfarmoredeeplythanhermotherhadsuggested.maybemoredeeplythanshelovedlon.
andnowshewasthere.interesting.lonbroughthispalmstogether,asthoughhewerepraying,restinghisfingertipsagainsthislips.coincidence?couldhenothing.couldheexactlywhatshesaid.couldbestressandantiqueshopping.possible.evenprobable.
yet...whatif?lonconsideredtheotherpossibility,andforthefirsttimeinalongwhilehebecamefrightened.whatifshe’swithhim?
hemadeuphismindthenthathewoulddoanythingittooktokeepher.shewaseverythinghe’dalwaysneeded,andhe’dneverfindanotherquitelikeher.
so,withtremblinghands,hedialledthephoneforthefourthandlasttimethatevening.
andagaintherewasnoanswer.alliewokeearlythenextmorning.she’dsleptintheshirthe’dgivenher,andshesmelthimonceagainwhilethinkingabouttheeveningthey’dspenttogether.theeasylaughterandconversationcamehacktoher,andsheespeciallyrememberedthewayhe’dtalkedaboutherpainting.itwassounexpected,yetuplifting,andsherealizedhowsorryshewouldhavebeenhadshedecidednottoseehimagain.
shelookedoutofthewindowandwatchedthechatteringbirdssearchforfoodintheearlylight.noah,sheknew,hadalwaysbeenamorningperson.sheknewhelikedtokayakorcanoe,andsherememberedonemorningshe’dspentwithhiminhiscanoe,watchingthesuncomeup.she’dhadtosneakoutofherwindowtodoitbecauseherparentswouldn’tallowit,butshehadn’tbeencaughtandsherememberedhownoahhadslippedhisarmaroundherandpulledhercloseasdawnbegantounfold.“lookthere,”he’dwhispered,andshe’dwatchedherfirstsunrisewithherheadonhisshoulder,wonderingifanythingcouldhebetterthanthatmoment.
asshegotoutofbedtotakeherbath,feelingthecoldfloorbeneathherfeet,shewonderedifhe’dbeenonthewaterthismorningwatchinganotherdaybegin,thinkingsomehowheprobablyhad.
shewasright.noahwasupbeforethesunanddressedquickly,samejeansaslastnight,undershirt,cleanflannelshirt,bluejacketandboots.hedrankaquickglassofmilkandgrabbedtwobiscuitsonthewayoutofthedoor.afterclemgreetedhimwithacoupleofsloppylicks,hewalkedtothedockwherehiskayakwasstored.helikedtolettheriverworkitsmagic,looseninguphismuscles,warminghisbody,clearinghismind.
theoldkayak,wellusedandriver-stained,hungontworustyhooksattachedtohisdock,justabovethewaterline.helifteditfree,inspecteditquickly,thentookittothehank.inacoupleofseasonedmoves,longsincemasteredbyhabit,hehaditinthewaterandwasworkinghiswayupstream,paddlinghard,workingoffthetension,preparingfortheday.
questionsdancedinhismind.hewonderedaboutlonandwhattypeofmanhewas,wonderedabouttheirrelationship.mostofall,though,hewonderedaboutallieandwhyshehadcome.
bythetimehereachedhome,hefeltrenewed.checkinghiswatch,hewassurprisedtofindthatithadtakentwohours.timealwaysplayedtricksoutthere.
hehungthekayaktodryandwenttotheshedwherehestoredhistwo-mancanoe.hecarriedittothehank,leavingitafewfeetfromthewater,andturnedtowardsthehouse.inthewesternskyhesawstormclouds,thickandheavy,faroffbutdefinitelypresent.thewindsweren’tblowinghardbuttheywerebringingthecloudscloser.fromthelookofthemhedidn’twanttoheoutsidewhentheygothere.damn.howmuchtimedidhehave?afewhours,maybemore.
heshowered,putonnewjeans,aredshirtandblackcowboyboots,brushedhishairandwentdownstairstothekitchen.hedidthedishesfromthenightbefore,pickedupalittlearoundthehouse,madehimselfsomecoffeeandwenttotheporch.theskywasdarkernowandhecheckedthebarometer.steady,butitwouldstartdroppingsoon.
he’dlearnedlongagotoneverunderestimatetheweather,andhewonderedifitwasagoodideatogoout.therainhecoulddealwith,lightningwasadifferentstory.acanoewasnoplacetohewhenelectricitysparkedinhumidair.
hefinishedhiscoffee,puttingoffthedecisionuntillater.hewenttothetoolshedandfoundhisaxe.aftercheckingthebladebypressinghisthumbtoit,hesharpeneditwithawhetstoneuntilitwasready.
hespentthenexttwentyminutessplittingandstackinglogs.hediditeasily,hisstrokesefficient,anddidn’tbreakasweat.heputafewlogsofftothesideforlaterandbroughttheminsidewhenhewasfinished,stackingthembythefireplace.
helookedatallie’spaintingandreachedouttotouchit,bringingbackthefeelingsofdisbeliefatseeingheragain.god,whatwasitaboutherthatmadehimfeelthisway?evenafteralltheseyears?whatsortofpowerdidshehaveoverhim?
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