曲美減肥效果好嗎

eyearsago:

sittingnexttoyou,whileouryoungestdaughtersangoff-keyintheschoolchristmasshow,ilookedatyouandsawapridethatcomesonlytothosewhofeeldeeplyintheirhearts,andiknewthatnomancouldbeluckierthanme.

andafteroursondied,theonewhoresembledhismother...itwasthehardesttimeweeverwentthrough,andthewordsstillringtruetoday:

intimesofgriefandsorrowiwillholdyouandrockyou,andtakeyourgriefandmakeitmyown.whenyoucry,icry,andwhenyouhurt,ihurt.andtogetherwewilltrytoholdbackthefloodsoftearsanddespairandmakeitthrough.

ipauseforjustamoment,rememberinghim.hewasfouryearsoldatthetime,justababy.ihavelivedtwentytimesaslongashe,butifasked,iwouldhavetradedmylifeforhis.itisaterriblethingtooutliveyourchild,atragedyiwishuponnoone.

theywenton,thiscorrespondenceoflifeandlove,andireaddozensmore,somepainful,mostheart-warming.bythreeo'clockiwastired,butihadreachedthebottomofthestack.therewasoneletterremaining,thelastoneiwrotetoher,andbytheniknewihadtokeepgoing.iliftedthesealandremovedbothpages.iputthesecondpageasideandmovedthefirstpageintobetterlightandbegantoread:

mydearestallie,

theporchissilentexceptforthesoundsthatfloatfromtheshadows,andforonceiamatalossforwords.itisastrangeexperienceforme,forwhenithinkofyouandthelifewehaveshared,thereismuchtoremember.alifetimeofmemories.buttoputitintowords?iamnotapoet,andyetapoemisneededtofullyexpressthewayifeelaboutyou.

somyminddriftsandirememberthinkingaboutourlifetogetherasimadecoffeethismorning.katewasthere,andsowasjane,andtheybothbecamequietwheniwalkedintothekitchen.isawthey'dbeencrying,andwithoutawordisatmyselfbesidethematthetableandheld,theirhands.andwhenilookedatthem,isawyoufromsolong-ago,thedaywesaidgoodbye.theyresembleyouandhowyouwerethen,beautifulandsensitiveandwoundedwiththehurtthatcomeswhensomethingspecialistakenaway.andforareasoni'mnotsureiunderstand,iwasinspiredtotellthemastory.

icalledjeffanddavidintothekitchen,fortheywerehereaswell,andwhenthechildrenwerereadyitoldthemaboutusandhowyoucamebacktomesolongago.itoldthemaboutourwalk,andthecrabdinnerinthekitchen,andtheylistenedwithsmileswhentheyheardaboutthecanoeride,andsittinginfrontofthefirewiththestormragingoutside.itoldthemaboutyourmotherwarningusaboutlonthenextday—theyseemedassurprisedaswewere—andyes,ieventoldthemwhathappenedlaterthatday,afteryouwentbacktotown.

thatpartofthestoryhasneverleftme,evenafterallthistime.eventhoughyoudescribedittomeonlyonce,iremembermarvellingatthestrengthyoushowedthatday.istillcannotimaginewhatwasgoingthroughyourmindwhenyouwalkedintothelobbyandsawlon,orhowitmusthavefelttotalktohim.youtoldmethatthetwoofyoulefttheinnandsatonabenchbytheoldmethodistchurch,andthatheheldyourhand,evenasyouexplainedthatyoumuststay.

iknowyoucaredforhim.andhisreactionprovestomehecaredforyouaswell.evenasyouexplainedthatyouhadalwayslovedme,andthatitwouldn'tbefairtohim,hedidnotreleaseyourhand.iknowhewashurtandangry,andtriedforalmostanhourtochangeyourmind,butwhenyoustoodfirmandsaid,"ican'tgobackwithyou,i'msosorry,"heknewthatyourdecisionhadbeenmade.yousaidhesimplynoddedandthetwoofyousattogetherforalongtimewithoutspeaking.ihavealwayswonderedwhathewasthinkingashesatwithyou,buti'msureitwasthesamewayifeltonlyafewhoursbefore.andwhenhefinallywalkedyoutoyourcar,yousaidhetoldyouthatiwasaluckyman.hebehavedasagentlemanwould,andiunderstoodthenwhyyourchoicewassohard.

irememberthatwhenifinishedthestory,theroomwasquietuntilkatefinallystoodtoembraceme."oh,daddy,"shesaidwithtearsinhereyes,andthoughiexpectedtoanswertheirquestions,theydidnotaskany.instead,theygavemesomethingmuchmorespecial.forthenextfourhours,eachofthemtoldmehowmuchthetwoofushadmeanttothemgrowingup.onebyone,theytoldstoriesaboutthingsihadlongsinceforgotten.andbytheendiwascrying,becauseirealizedhowwellwehaddonewithraisingthem.iwassoproudofthem,andproudofyou,andhappyaboutthelifewehaveled.andnothingwillevertakethataway.nothing.ionlywishyoucouldhavebeenheretoenjoyitwithme.

aftertheyleft,irockedinsilence,thinkingbackonourlifetogether.youarealwaysherewithmewhenidoso,atleastinmyheart,anditisimpossibleformetorememberatimewhenyouwerenotapartofme.idonotknowwhoiwouldhavebecomehadyounevercomebacktomethatday.

iloveyou,allie.iamwhoiambecauseofyou.youareeveryreason,everyhopeandeverydreami'veeverhad,andnomatterwhathappenstousinthefuture,everydaywearetogetheristhegreatestdayofmylife.iwillalwaysbeyours.

and,mydarling,youwillalwaysbemine.

noah

iputthepagesasideandremembersittingwithallieonourporchwhenshereadthisletterforthefirsttime.itwaslateafternoonandthelastremnantsofthedaywerefading.theskywasslowlychangingcolour,andasiwatchedthesungodownirememberthinkingaboutthatbrief,flickeringmomentwhendaysuddenlyturnsintonight.dusk,irealized,isjustanillusion,becausethesuniseitherabovethehorizonorbelowit.andthatmeansthatdayandnightarelinkedinawaythatfewthingsare;therecannotbeonewithouttheother,yettheycannotexistatthesametime.howwoulditfeel,irememberwondering,

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