曲美減肥效果好嗎

erature.evelyn,oneofthemanynurseshere,helpsmetothechairbythewindow.sheputsherhandonmyshoulderandpatsitgently.shesaysnothing,andbyhersilenceiknowthatsheisstaringoutofthewindow.thensheleansforwardandtenderlykissesmeonthecheek.

"it'sgoodtohaveyouback.allie'smissedyouandsohavetherestofus.wewereallprayingforyoubecauseit'sjustnotthesamearoundherewhenyou'regone."shesmilesatmeandtouchesmyfacebeforesheleaves.isaynothing.

thestarsareouttonightandthecricketsaresinging.asisit,iwonderifanyoneoutsidecanseeme,thisprisonerofflesh.isearchthecourtyard,lookingforsignsoflife,butthereisnothing.eventhecreekisstill.inthedarknessitlookslikeemptyspaceandifindthati'mdrawntoitsmystery.iwatchforhours,andasidoiseethereflectionofcloudsonthewater.astormiscomingandintimetheskywillturnsilver,likeduskagain.

lightningcutsthewildskyandifeelmyminddriftback.whoarewe,allieandi?areweancientivyonacypresstree,tendrilsandbranchesintertwinedsocloselythatwewouldbothdieifwewereforcedapart?anotherboltandthetablebesidemeislitenoughtoenablemetoseeapictureofallie,thebestoneihave.ihaditframedyearsagointhehopethattheglasswouldmakeitlastforever.ireachforitandholditinchesfrommyface.shewasforty-onewhenitwastaken,andshehadneverbeenmorebeautiful.therearesomanythingsiwanttoaskher,butiknowthepicturewon'tanswer,soiputitaside.

ifinallystandandwalktomydeskandturnonthelamp.thistakesmoreeffortthanithinkitwill,andiamstrained,soidonotreturntothewindowseat.isitdownandspendafewminuteslookingatthepicturesonmydesk.familypictures,picturesofchildrenandvacations.picturesofallieandme.

sincethisseemstobeanightofmemories,ilookforandfindmyweddingring.itisinthetopdrawer,wrappedintissue.icannotwearitanymorebecausemyknucklesareswollenandmyfingerslackforblood.iunwrapthetissueandfinditunchanged.itispowerful—asymbol,acircle—andiknow,iknow,therecouldneverhavebeenanother.iwhisperaloud,"iamstillyours,allie,myqueen,mytimelessbeauty.youare,andalwayshavebeen,thebestthinginmylife."

itiseleventhirtyandilookforthelettershewrotetome,theoneireadwhenthemoodstrikesme.ifinditwhereilastleftit.iopenitandmyhandsbegintotremble:

dearnoah,

iwritethisletterbycandlelightasyouliesleepinginthebedroomwehavesharedsincethedayweweremarried.iseetheflamebesidemeanditremindsmeofanotherfirefromdecadesago,withmeinyoursoftclothes,andiknewthenwewouldalwaysbetogether,eventhoughiwaveredthefollowingday.myhearthadbeencapturedbyasouthernpoet,andiknewinsidethatithadalwaysbeenyours.whowasitoquestionalovethatrodeonshootingstarsandroaredlikecrashingwaves?forthatiswhatitwasbetweenusthenandthatiswhatitistoday.

iremembercomingbacktoyouthedayaftermymotherleft.iwassoscaredbecauseiwassureyouwouldneverforgivemeforleavingyou.iwasshakingasigotoutofthecar,butyoutookitallawaywithyoursmile."howaboutsomecoffee?"wasallyousaid.andyouneverbroughtitupagaininallouryearstogether.

nordidyouquestionmewheniwouldleaveandwalkaloneduringthenextfewdays.whenicameinwithtearsinmyeyes,youalwaysknewwhetherineededyoutoholdmeortojustletmebe.idon'tknowhowbutyoudid,andyoumadeiteasierforme.later,whenwewenttothesmallchapelandexchangedourringsandmadeourvows,ilookedintoyoureyesandknewihadmadetherightdecision.morethanthat,iknewiwasfoolishforeverconsideringsomeoneelse.ihaveneverwaveredsince.

wehadawonderfullifetogether,andithinkaboutitalotnow.iclosemyeyessometimesandseeyouwithspecklesofgreyinyourhair,sittingontheporchandplayingyourguitarwhilelittleonesplayandclaptothemusicyoucreate."you'reabetterfatherthanyouknow,"itellyoulater,afterthechildrenaresleeping.

iloveyouformanythings,especiallyyourpassions:loveandpoetryandfatherhoodandfriendshipandbeautyandnature.andiamgladyouhavetaughtthechildrenthesethings,foriknowtheirlivesarebetterforit.theytellmehowspecialyouaretothem,anditmakesmefeelliketheluckiestwomanalive.

youhavetaughtmeaswell,andinspiredmeandsupportedmeinmypainting,andyouwillneverknowhowmuchithasmeanttomethatyouwerealwaysthere,encouragingme.youunderstoodmyneedformyownstudio,myownspace,andsawbeyondthepaintonmyclothesandinmyhair.iknowitwasnoteasy.ittakesamantodothat,noah,tolivewithsomethinglikethat.andyouhave.forforty-fiveyearsnow.wonderfulyears.

youaremybestfriendaswellasmylover,andidonotknowwhichsideofyouienjoythemost.itreasureeachside,justasihavetreasuredourlifetogether.youhavesomethinginsideyou,noah,somethingbeautifulandstrong.kindness,that'swhatiseewhenilookatyounow,that'swhateveryonesees.kindness.

iknowyouthinkmecrazyformakinguswriteourstorybeforewefinallyleaveourhome,butihavemyreasonsandithankyouforyourpatience.inevertoldyouwhy,butnowithinkitistimeyouknew.wehavelivedalifetimemostcouplesneverknow,andwhenilookatyouiamfrightenedbytheknowledgethatallthiswillbeendingsoon.forwebothknowmyprognosis.iworrymoreaboutyouthanidoaboutme,becauseifearthepainiknowyouwillgothrough.therearenowordstoexpressmysorrowforthis.

iloveyousodeeply,soincrediblymuch,thatiwillfindawaytocomebacktoyoudespi

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